Tears Walk for Ryan

The Tears Foundation Walk and Rock was this morning, this was our second time attending. We are so grateful for Jake's mom, Aunt, sister and kids for coming and also our good friends from church in our ward Leah and Ben and their kids. Words can't express how much that meant to us, to feel supported in our grief and see the love they all have for Ryan is truly touching.

After we all registered and got our shirts the opening ceremonies started with poems read, sweet songs and the names of all the babies who were being walked for. The first lap around Safeco Field, which is the mlb field the Mariners play at in Seattle, was called the Hope lap. All the families walked the hope lap, I just love the symbolism in it. It was said, before the hope lap, that as families walk together and lean on each other, it is like walking through grief together, supporting each other. After the hope lap, friends were invited to join. After walking, watching the video of all the pictures of the babies (Ryan had two pictures up) on the huge score keeping screen, we had lunch. During the closing ceremonies a sweet poem was read as well as each of the babies names again were called, and parents invited to walk up and receive a white flower and walk to their baby's butterflies to retrieve them and take them home. As Ryan's name was called a flood of emotion came over me, it was bitter sweet. I love hearing his name said in loud speakers throughout the whole stadium, but in hearing his name and not having him by my side is heart wrenching. As Jake and I walked alone together to the butterfly a baby lullaby song was played and Ryan's picture was displayed at that moment, Jake and I just held onto each other so tight, both glad we had our glasses on to hide the tears that flowed, both knowing what the other was thinking, hand in hand, side by side, two hearts as one. We talked of our love for Ryan and how much we miss him.

We were so happy to honor Ryan today in this special way and we are so grateful for the Tears Foundation and for what they did personally for our family. They raised over $50,000 at this event today and we couldn't be happier for them because how tragic it is for parents who have to bury their children, but even more tragic when they can't give their little ones a proper burial and a beautiful headstone in their honor. We look forward to next year, wherever we may be!

Messages to our boy

A message to Ryan he told us :)



Little baseball baby at Safeco Field :)


We love you Ryan! Every step we took today was for you!