Writing Helps

I wrote this, I guess you could call poem, a few weeks after Ryan had passed and after sharing it with close friends and family along with my other writings, I thought I would put it up here. Writing is something I love and something that really helps me vent, it's a source of therapy for me and I always end up feeling better after I write. Someday I will write a book on our experiences :)

Our Corner
Tucked into the furthest back corner,
On the left side of the NICU lies my tiny son Ryan.
His home is in the incubator in that little corner,
This is where he will live his entire four days of life on earth.
This corner is where I meet my son for the first time.
It is where I first touch him, hold his hand, say his name, and sing him songs.
This is our sacred corner, where many tears are shed,
Where family members visit and pictures are taken of our angel.
This corner has one chair where I sit uncomfortably,
Still healing from my surgery.
This cramped corner holds over a dozen men who,
Holding on to one another,
Give Ryan’s dad power to give a marvelous name and a blessing.
Ryan’s first diapers, and sadly last, are changed here in this corner.
His heart beats in this special corner,
His eyes first open here too.
Ryan’s spirit and personality are felt in this corner.
This corner, this corner, my only place to interact with my son.
This is my heaven on earth.
My corner, this sad corner, tucked away,
Surrounded by nurses and beeping machines.
This corner was all Ryan knew,
A constant scenery of miracles and sadness,
A reminder of vanished hope and heartache.
This corner, our corner,
Our hellos and goodbye’s.
My corner, his corner, our corner, is all we had.