HaLLoWeeN!!

We hope everyone had a fun and happy Halloween. We had a great day and a fun night. Jonathon was so aware and just loved the idea of knocking on people's doors and getting candy. Right when the neighbors would open the door he would put his hand right in their bowls of candy, no question, and grab what he could. We thought it was hilarious. Jonathon had to make sure his whole entourage was with him. If grandma or grandpa Tracy were falling behind he would say, "come ma, come pa." He did this the whole night. I think he just couldn't grasp the night's concepts and why we were doing it. I won't be surprised if tonight he wants to go back out for another round. We have way too much candy as it is because we went to our wards trunk-or-treat first! Jonathon had a blast. We are so blessed that the rain stopped for the evening so we didn't get rained on!

This is the cutest picture EVER! Jonathon was my big boy helper, helping me bake my mom's famous sugar cookies. This is his little apron that my mom got him too. It says, "Baker in training." I love the cowboy boots and the death grip on his cars of course while he helped. He loved rolling the dough for me, he did a good job :)




me... proud of how well they turned out, I haven't made these in a while!

my silly boy !



my cute pooh bear all ready to go out!

showing his pooh head :)

a VERY cute picture of Jake and Jonathon!


all done trick-or-treating and ready to help pass out candy

he didn't have the patience to wait for trick-or-treater's anymore so he grabbed some candy and literally ran after kids in the street to give them their candy, how sweet? Thanks to gramma Rae for running down the street, huge bowl of candy in hand, after him! haha. Wish I could have got a picture of that!

some of his candy in his pumpkin pale

getting a better look at his stash and going for the snickers (like father like son)!

The night was very special with Jonathon, and I will always cherish it. However, I couldn't help feel sad too. Sad because I wanted so badly to be putting baby Ryan in Jonathon's baby superman costume he wore when he was a newborn. It didn't help that a neighbor of mine said, "Didn't you just have a baby?" It's not her fault, she saw me pregnant, and now I'm not, and naturally wonder's where the baby is. Those moments are why I don't like to go out in public. It's so heart wrenching and I feel like I'm on fire ready to burst. I am constantly bombarded with reminders of my loss! The holidays will be hard. At the store, I see baby's first Christmas ornaments and I wish I could get one for Ryan. All the baby "first" that I would be experiencing, this next year, will be tough because I can't experience those things with Ryan here on earth. I pray day by day this will get easier!