The After Loss

The following was written by a woman who recently lossed her baby boy around the time we lost Ryan. I love what she wrote because I believe this is exactly how every parent feels after loosing a child:
The After Loss of My Baby Boy:
I need to talk about my loss. I may often feel the need to tell you what happened-but I probably won't be the one to bring it up, in fear that I might make YOU feel uncomfortable.I may frequently need you to listen while I explain what this loss means to me. Each time I discuss my loss, I am helping myself face the reality of the death of my baby.I need to know that you care about me. I need to feel your touch, your hugs. I need you just to be with me.I need for you to believe in me and in my ability to get through this grief in my own way- and in my own time.Please don't judge me now--or think that I am behaving strangely. Remember, I'm grieving. I may shy away from you or not attend family functions. Please don't take this personally. I may still be in shock. I may feel afraid. I may feel deep rage. I may even feel guilty. I might not even know how I feel...but above all, I hurt. I am experiencing pain unlike any I've ever felt before. Don't be concerned if you think I'm getting better, and then suddenly I seem to slip backward again. Grief makes me behave this way, at times.And please don't tell me you know just how I feel, or that it's time for me to get on with my life. I probably am saying that to myself every day. I just need for you to be patient, now, and to try to understand.Finally, allow me the time I need to grieve and to recover. I want to get on with my life--but I know that first I must walk through the dark shadows of my grief. And, although it is almost impossible for me to believe this now, I know that one day my grief will end.Most of all, thank you for caring. Thank you for not forgetting that I had a baby, even when you don't see him. Thank you for helping, understanding, and especially... for praying for me. And remember, in the days or years ahead--after your loss--when you need me as I have needed you, I will understand, and then I will come and be with YOU.