Monday, February 25, 2008
tantrums
Jonathon has just begun having tantrums.... last Saturday night I was about to put Jonathon to bed after he'd already been alseep in the car for 30 min. on our way home from visiting his cousins. He had a fun filled day feeding a horse, riding on toy roller coasters and playing t-ball. When we walked in the door and he realized we were home he threw the hugest fit of a lifetime! I had no idea what to do because he was acting so bad. He faught me on everything; bath time (which I should have never tried to do), putting his diaper and pj's on, reading stories, etc. Finally I asked what he wanted and he said, "Caw" which means either cracker or cookie. So, we headed downstairs and he found the cheerios in the pantry. I put some in a small ziplocked bag and we headed back upstairs for bed. As we headed up stairs he was arching his back with so much force, screaming, and trying to hit me or pull my hair. This went on for another 10 min. while he dumped out all his cheerios and threw the bag at me. I felt so bad for him because he was acting like he was in terrible pain. I thought it might be his 7 teeth coming in right now (yes i'm being serious!) so I put some teething gel on his gums, layed him in his crib and tucked him in, kissed him and said, "Goodnight, I love you." By the time I got down stairs he was silent... for the rest of the night. Finally what seemed like hours of torture was done. After telling my mom this she said I should have put him to bed right away, instead of trying to give him a bath and pep talk and story time. After that whole emotional ride, crying, and feeling way to exhausted from pregnancy fatigue, I did my research online making sure my son didn't have some sort of problem. Every person said tantrums like that are normal, which my doctor already gave me a pep talk on I just had no idea tantrums could be that bad.... and ignoring and isolating the tantrum is best. I hope it works! Any of your advice for dealing with tantrums while being completely tired from being pregnant, please send them my way so I can be prepared!
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5 comments :
That was it? hahaha, Ella is our queen of tantrums and they go on and on and on and on....... One day she was screaming all during Mia's 45 min dance class, then we did a couple of errands where she screamed the whole time, then we went to the park and she threw fits there the whole time. After the park we stopped by the store to get bread for lunch and a gal who's daughter is in the dance class had to laugh as she was leaving the store and we were entering and Ella was still going. I told her it hasn't gotten any better......
Some of Ella's fits make me laugh, others make me want to cry...what do you do? And this too shall pass, right?
Good luck with your boy!
I SERIOUSLY feel your pain. The early days of pregnancy always equal exhaustion for me. Since Sarah was only barely two and the boys were only 5 months old when I got pregnant with Audrey, I have had a lot of experience with tantrums and pregnancy.
Sarah always responded well to time outs. When she would throw a fit over something, I would put her in time out and tell her that she would stay there until she stopped screaming and could talk nicely. The first time outs lasted for a while because she didn't want to give up the screaming, but she eventually got the point, and would start apologizing and talking like a normal person while we were on our way to put her in time out. Now, I just tell her that I'm not going to talk to her until she stops whining (she doesn't throw fits now, she just whines about stuff) and most of the time she immediately changes her tone and says, "I'm not whining anymore, mom." And indeed, she's not. Maybe that tactic will work for Jonathon. If not, your mom's right. You probably should have just put him to bed. Hey...my neighbor has a tantrum thrower about Jonathon's age. I'll ask her what works for her too. The best thing is to find what he responds well to and be consistent at all costs. Otherwise he'll learn that you don't really mean it. Good luck!
Tantrums are a true test of a mother's patience. I remember when I was pregnant with Lauren and crying and thinking 'how can I handle two kids when Ethan is being such a stinker?'. Then again crying when I was pregnant with Kate thinking the same things. Good news is...it all works out. I've learned my kids calm down from their fits much faster if I stay calm and talk to them in a quiet voice. The Love and Logic tapes explain kids throwing tantrums are like drunk people...there is no reasoning with them....you just need to isolate them in a safe place for the tantrum to play out and for them to "sober up". The first one is always hard. You are doing a great job with Jonathan. Keep up your good work and nap when he does!!
PS--Just so no one reading this freaks out...I don't mean "isolate him in a closet"...I mean take him from the situation (store, dinner table, etc) and it could be a time out, or just holding him while he throws his fit.
My neighbor said she hasn't figured it all out yet. But she said that when her daughter throws the huge tantrum hissy fits, she puts her in time out and ignores her "demands" until she's calmed down and can be nice again. She said just don't give in to what he wants and ignore him until he stops screaming...no matter how long that is. (as long as he's not hurt or something) Hope it helps.
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